E-133 Community and JOY
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Speaker: [00:00:00] Hello.
Hello. Hello, my creative friend. Welcome back to another episode of Create [00:01:00] Today with Beth Buffington. Hey, have you been watching the World Cup? I have, and honestly, I've been watching it less for the soccer and more for something that I cannot stop thinking about, and I'm gonna share it with you today.
I keep watching the fans. Specifically, I've been following stories about what they're doing when they're not watching soccer, because they get together and they do some amazing things as a group. Here's, here's what I mean. Let me give you an example. Um, I've been watching the Scottish fans.
They call themselves the Tartan Army, and if you haven't caught a clip of them yet, please go have a look, because what they're doing in cities across America for the past few weeks is something that we're gonna talk about today. So the Tartan Army, they marched through Boston in kilts playing bagpipes, and they packed Fenway Park for a [00:02:00] Red Sox game and sang their national anthem so loud that the whole stadium stopped and listened.
And they put traffic cones, this is so odd, on the heads of a lot of the statues that they could find, and they drank 70 kegs of beer in four days at the Sam Adams Brewery. I heard that they almost ran out of beer. And then before they left Boston to head to Miami, they visited Horizons for Homeless Children in Roxbury, they donated $1,200, and they played bagpipes for the kids.
Wow. I think that is so cool. So the Boston Globe ran a full-page thank you to the Tartan Army. The mayor wore a Scottish jersey and signed a letter of intent to make Boston and Glasgow sister cities. a Scottish video blogger stood on a [00:03:00] street corner and said, "The people here have opened their homes and opened their hearts, and we've just had the best time."
See, and here's the thing that got to me and that I keep thinking about. Boston will be the first to admit that they're not exactly known for being a warm and fuzzy city, but the Globe wrote that the Scots have kind of cast a spell on the city.
that the city had, quote, "Shed its skeptical reserve and given itself over to joy." 50,000 people from one country showed up to a place they had never been to cheer for a team that hadn't made the World Cup since 1998, and in the process, they gave an entire city permission to stop worrying for a while, and to just feel good [00:04:00] together.
And that is what joy in community can do. And that is what we're going to be talking about today, the miracle of joy. So welcome to Create Today. I'm Beth Buffington, and this show exists because I believe creativity is one of the most powerful wellness tools we have, not just for making arts and crafts, but for living better.
And last week, we talked about community and why your body actually needs it. We looked at research on loneliness and connection, and what science has learned about how the people around us shape our health, our mood, and how long we live. We learned that being lonely is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
So being with a community of people that you enjoy [00:05:00] being with is not just something fun to do on the weekend. It's vital for your health as well as your happiness. So today, I want to look at one of my favorite words, joy. I could spend a long time explaining to you why I find the word joy so joyful, but I want to talk about what happens to you when joy is felt, not as a solo experience, but in a community of people.
You see, I think joy is underrated. We talk a lot about happiness. We talk about wellness, balance, peace, but joy is something different. Joy, well, it's not a steady state. Joy is a moment that doesn't last long- joy creates the memories that last forever. And when joy happens inside a community, it does something [00:06:00] to us that I think borders on miraculous.
And if we can think about the miracle of joy when it happens to you next, you'll be able to appreciate it and savor the bliss, and get more out of that moment that joy gifts to you, And believe it or not, we can get all science-y as we talk about joy.
And I think having a few facts about joy will make us understand the importance that this tiny word can do for us in heart, mind, body, and soul. So when we experience joy in the company of other people, our brains release a combination of chemicals that do not show up in the same way as when we are by ourselves.
You have heard of dopamine. It is often called the reward chemical. It is what fires up when [00:07:00] you are anticipating something good, when you're working towards a goal, when you're excited about what is coming. Dopamine gets you to the party. And then there's oxytocin, and that is the bonding hormone.
Oxytocin is triggered by eye contact, by laughter, by shared celebration, by the feeling of being genuinely welcomed somewhere. And oxytocin does something that dopamine cannot. It allows you to belong,and just be where you are in the moment. It helps you feel, for a moment, like you do not need to be anywhere else or be doing anything more than what is happening at this moment.
And here's where it gets really interesting. Research out of Stanford has shown that oxytocin does not just [00:08:00] exist alongside dopamine in social moments. It actually triggers dopamine release in the brain's reward pathway. So the warmth of belonging activates the pleasure system on top of it, and the two, they amplify each other.
Connection deepens the joy, and joy deepens the connection. Woo. That's like a, a cyclical thing.
It's a feedback loop, and this is why a shared experience hits differently than that same moment if you would just go and do the same thing by yourself. It is why a concert moves you in a way that an album at home does not, why watching a game with friends feels more electric than watching it by yourself.
It is why 50,000 people singing the same song in a stadium can make a complete stranger cry. It is [00:09:00] physical. Shared laughter has shown to raise oxytocin levels. Your whole body experiences joy. It is not just in your head.
So if you've ever thought that when you're with a bunch of people that somehow you feel less stress, it's not accidental. There is a suspended feeling that you get when you are with your people, the chaos in the world actually goes a little quiet, and the worries that you are feeling and experiencing and dealing with, well, they feel less scary and dreadful because you're with your people, you're in community, and joy is lifting you up.
Now, over the past several weeks, we've been exploring how the four words in my Going Forwards framework help you feel happier and healthier in heart, mind, body, and soul, how they help you live a fuller life. And the four [00:10:00] words are revive, realize, refine, and release.
And if you're new here, I would love for you to go back and listen to that series.
The links are in the show notes. Today, I want to show you how joy, especially joy felt in community, is found in the first two words of the Going Forwards framework.
you'll notice the joy that you find in community helps you refill and maintain and then appreciate your happiness. So let's look at that first word in the Going Forwards creative process, and it is revive. And revive is all about restoration.
My friend, it is really important for you to be able to monitor your energy levels, and when they're low, refill what has been emptied. Revive means that you're aware of how to care [00:11:00] for your body, and your heart before your energy is depleted.
And joy, it is one of the fastest and happiest ways you can revive. So let's go back to Boston for a moment. The Tartan Army, Scotland's traveling soccer fans, They didn't just show up to watch a soccer match. They showed up to celebrate the fun inside the event. They showed up as a community, as the Tartan Army community, which involved kilts and bagpipes and singing in the streets and buying strangers drinks and laughing with people they'd never met.
When these Scots are together, that's who they are. They are the Tartan Army. And joy, well, it is a result of their gathering together. And the people of Boston who were going about their ordinary [00:12:00] day just doing their work, driving in traffic, ticking off their to-do lists, well, they walked right into the joy that was being cultivated by this community, and something in Boston shifted.
The joy and community from the Scots included whoever was nearby, and it woke them up, and that is revive. sometimes revive is being pulled out of your loneliness, either with your community or becoming part of someone else's inviting community, um, purely by proxy, and enjoying the wonders that joy showers down onto a happy community.
Community fueled joy is one of the most blissful revival tools, and one of the beautiful things [00:13:00] about it is that it doesn't require a World Cup to find it. You don't have to travel a thousand miles and go to a city that you've never been to. But you know what? It's pretty darn cool when something like that actually happens.
Now, the second word in the Going Forwards framework is realize, and this is all about waking up and seeing the beauty in the world around you. This is you lifting yourself up out of autopilot. You know, that robotic, movement that you make when you're just going through your daily routine. And instead, you take unique time to notice the things that bring you happiness, that fill you with inspiration, and that make you thankful and grateful for the blessings that you have in your life.
And oh my goodness, joy has an [00:14:00] extraordinary ability to do this, especially in community. When you experience a moment of joy, you are fully present in that moment, fully there, and your worries quiet down, and the stress about your work, your family, the world, it is hushed.
It gives you time to remember goodness that you have in your life, And in that space of joy that you're feeling inside community, you realize what matters. You realize who you love being around, and you realize that there is goodness in the world right here, right now.
A Scottish fan said something in an interview that is worth remembering. She admitted that she'd been really nervous about coming to America, given our current political climate. She expected [00:15:00] tension, but instead she found kindness in the cities she has visited. "I realized," she said, "that people just want to be good to each other."
And that is the realize phase. Seeing that people just wanna be good to each other, realizing that very thing. Joy allowed her to see the smaller things in life that are often overlooked as we doom scroll on our phones, as we rush to get that next thing done, as we just go through autopilot in our routines.
So here's a going forwards tip that I want you to remember and think about. When you activate the revive and realize phases, they do not stay contained into their separate words. These words start to combine and mix like pretty cream in a coffee, right? [00:16:00] The energy and the clarity that you feel when you have revived your energy and when you have realized beauty in your world, that is what powers the next stages in the going forwards framework, which is the refine stage, doing the work, and the release stage, which is being brave and more confident in yourself to release whatever you've been holding onto longer than you should.
So joy that comes from community doesn't just make you feel good during the community event. It is going to set a foundation for important work that will come afterwards
Now, I want to take a moment to tell you about communities where this kind of joy shows up regularly, And they are both available to you inside Create [00:17:00] Today. The first opportunity is my Create Today membership. This is a group of creative entrepreneurs who teach or sell or license or show their creative work, and this happens in so many unique, authentic ways.
The laughter and the inspiration and the ideas that result during the masterminds we have together as a group with this talented community of artists is the definition of community joy. So if you're a creative professional looking for your people who understand the challenges of being a creative entrepreneur, especially today,
you will be welcomed with open arms inside this membership.
And if you're someone who wants to use creativity as a real wellness practice, [00:18:00] not just a hobby, consider joining me and my co-host Lisa Murphy for Sylva Sessions Creative Wellness membership.
Lisa provides the expertise for how to live a life of quality and longevity, and I bring the creative tools that make being happier and healthier even easier to incorporate. And together, Lisa and I will meet with you regularly to help you stay mindful and accountable for the care you need to provide to yourself.
And one more thing. I have something really exciting coming in July, something that will open the door for people who are curious about how to use the Going Forwards framework really deeply in their life for being happier and healthier in heart, mind, body, and soul. Details are coming really soon.
So you're gonna want to get the Create [00:19:00] Today news, tips, and treats so you can learn all the information as soon as it happens. So get on my email list at www.bdi-create.today, and you'll be the first to hear about it. And my friends, on my website, you'll find links to all the memberships I've just talked about.
Or to make it really easy, just go to the show notes and you'll find a link that will take you to the membership that you're most interested in joining
Okay, let's get back to more ideas about joy. You know, I love to share creative ideas with you, but even more, I love sharing how you can actually use these ideas in your life right away today. So here's a list of seven ways to discover [00:20:00] and relish the moments of joy you'll experience when you are in community.
And most of these ideas, well, they're small and they're easy, and when you know that you should look for these seven ideas when you're in community, you'll actually be able to experience the joy you receive in community at a higher level
So here are seven ways to discover joy in community. Number one,
I want you to focus on being in the moment. This means thinking about what you are experiencing right now. We are so wired to plan, to be productive, to network, to get stuff done. And while that's important, if you are stressed on those details, and you're only focused on what should happen next to keep that schedule moving, well, [00:21:00] you're gonna miss the now, and you're going to miss being in that moment.
And that moment is when joy appears. And remember, it is fleeting. So show up just to be present and to be mindful of the moments when joy finds you, and then just be appreciative of that. Number two, let yourself be delighted. My friend, delight is a choice. We choose to either allow it or to block it.
So when something is charming or funny or surprising, let it land. Revel in the bliss. Breathe it in. Don't try to manage it, and don't be too cool for it, and don't rush it. The people of Boston who were most transformed by the Scots, well, they were the ones who let themselves be surprised and delighted and [00:22:00] amused with the oddities that this out-of-town community showered onto the city of Boston.
And number three, contribute your own joy. So joy in community, it's not a spectator sport. Allow yourself to be part of the joy, a laugh, a story, a smile, a genuine compliment. The Tartan Army brought bagpipes and songs, and you get to choose whether you join in the song or you judge the song for being too loud or too inappropriate.
You get to choose whether you join in the joy. Number four, find your version of the Tartan Army. So you don't have to love soccer to understand what those fans have as a group and what they enjoy together as a community. They have a common love of [00:23:00] soccer, and they are passionate about that.
So find the people who love what you love. Creative communities, neighborhood groups, book clubs, faith communities, volunteer groups. The common ground, that's important, but it matters less than the shared enthusiasm.
So go there and be ready to have some fun, and that is when joy is going to join you. And then number five: let joy be contagious. You see, science confirms that emotions spread between people, right? So when you're genuinely joyful, you give others permission to be joyful, too. And when others are joyful around you, they are giving you permission to join them in their joy.
Do not dim it to be polite. my friend, let that joy flag [00:24:00] fly. and let yourself be visible and happy, and don't be shy. And remember to allow others to join in with you, and remember to allow yourself to join in with other people. Let the community joy be contagious And number six, if you're new to a community, stay a little longer than you planned.
So what do I mean by this? If you're new to a community, you need to know that joy often arrives late. When people first get together, there's a lot of, you know, polite ch- chat and, you know, how's the weather and how'd you get here? But the best part of a gathering is frequently after people have settled and after they've relaxed and after they've had a moment to let that common bond really set in and start to stir up the enthusiasm.
And that is when people [00:25:00] let their worries shift to that back seat. So resist the urge to leave too early, 'cause you don't wanna miss the joy. And number seven, and we talk about this so much in the Create Today podcast. I want you to think about what you're thinking about, and I want you to think about what you're experiencing.
So when you feel a moment of joy, I want you to pause. I want you to take 30 seconds to acknowledge this beautiful, fleeting emotion. It doesn't last very long, so you wanna let it soak in and just fill you as full as it can. Notice what your body feels like. Notice where the emotion actually touches you.
Is it in your head? Is it in your heart? Name it. I feel joy. And even if it's just to yourself, I want you to name it. My friend, this is [00:26:00] not woo. Research on positive emotion shows that deliberately savoring an experience strengthens the neural pathways associated with it.
So when you stop to appreciate this joy, you're literally building your capacity for joy. You're allowing that space to get larger, and you're making it easier to experience it more often and experience it at higher levels of bliss. That is good on good on good. Now, the Boston Globe said that the Tartan Army cast a spell on the city, and I think that spell was joy.
And I think joy, especially the kind felt inside a community, is one of the most magical and powerful sources we have access to. And [00:27:00] oh, my goodness, does our world need more joy. Joy revives us. Joy renews our energy. Joy fills our empty tanks. Joy builds the foundation for everything we're trying to do in our lives and in our creative work and in our families, in our communities, and in our world.
Joy helps us realize the goodness in our world, and beyond The world is full of chaos right now. That is seen everywhere we go. There's a lot competing for your attention every day, and a lot of that noise causes stress and worry. And I'm not gonna pretend that the joy community can bring is going to fix it all.
And I'm not gonna say that every community brings us joy, because that's not true. There are many communities who [00:28:00] use their time together for less than joyful pursuits. But I do know that when you choose a community that provides a common interest that is good for your heart, your mind, your body, and your soul, joy will come.
And joy interrupts the chaos in life. And sometimes an interruption in the chaos, that's exactly what we need. My friend, this week, take time to be in community with people who make you feel good. Who are they? Where are they? When are they meeting? Get it in your calendar. It does not need to be a big event.
You don't need to travel halfway across the world to go to a city you've never been to. Your community could be a Zoom call. It could be [00:29:00] coffee with friends or walking with friends. Think about a group that you've been meaning to show up to join, a book or garden club, maybe volunteering for a good cause.
Find it. Just go. And remember, be there and be present in the moments when you are in community, and let yourself put away your worries, your stress. And then I want you to relish in the bliss that you feel when you are with the people you love being with. If this episode made you think of someone who needs a little more joy in their life right now, will you share the Create Today podcast with them?
Send it their way and tell them you thought of them today. That small act of reaching out, my friend, that is community too. So go, find your people, discover that [00:30:00] joy, and share the joy so that you, my friend, so that you can stay creative
