E121 - Anxious? Think about what you're thinking
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Speaker: [00:00:00] Hello.
Hello, welcome to Create Today. Got a question for you, right? Right off the bat. Have you ever had a moment where suddenly everything feels like too much? You have too many tabs open, not only on your computer, but maybe in your brain. You have too many decisions to make. Too many thoughts are talking all at once inside your head, and somewhere in the middle of all of this [00:01:00] noise and confusion, a quiet voice whispers.
I can't keep up. I can't do this. Have you ever felt like that? If you felt like that lately, my friend? You are not alone. Not even a little bit.
Right now research tells us that 76% of all adults say the future of our world is a significant source of stress. The economy in our countries is causing anxiety and employees are reporting skyhigh rates of overwhelm, burnout, and stress.
But a lot of us don't even know what to call it when we start feeling this, and we don't even know what is happening. Because all of this drama, well, it doesn't really feel all that dramatic anymore. It just feels like Tuesday.
Our lives. That constant [00:02:00] input, the doom scrolling, the blare of social media, the noise of our world right now, while that pressure just keeps building and we feel like we just need to keep going and going and going, and when everything around you feels uncertain, like maybe today. Let's find some ways that you can calm that chaos.
ways, to settle down, to soothe yourself, to find rest. I am not talking about a complete life overhaul. I mean, this is just one video right now, right? It's not even a really long video. So what we're gonna talk about today is that a rigid system that must be followed to perfection. We don't need more of that.
It's not one more thing for your to-do list. I am talking today about seven small shifts, seven [00:03:00] ways. You can soften the noise around you that you're feeling in our world and come back to your authentic self. And running through every single one of these seven shifts is the same thread. Something deceptively simple, but genuinely powerful.
So stick with me through this whole video because we are going to be. Discovering how you can start learning to think about what you're thinking. Again, stick with me because if you've never thought about this before, that seems like a strange thing to think about and, but there's actually a word for this in science, this learning to think about what you're thinking.
It's called metacognition. And researchers define it as the ability to [00:04:00] monitor and regulate your own thoughts or think about what you're thinking. My friend, this has been a game changer for my anxious mind. I have been an anxious person since I was a little girl. It has taken me a while to realize that the things happening in my head are things I don't always need to listen to, but I need to be able to think about it and decide what I should act on and what I shouldn't.
So thinking about what you're thinking about is super important, and here's why it matters so much when you're overwhelmed, your brain, when it is left to roam about unchecked. Well, it has a negativity bias. Your brain is wired to scan for threats and then replay mistakes and tell stories that aren't always true because your brain is here [00:05:00] to keep you safe.
And just like, um, a parent that would spout, doom and gloom about why you shouldn't cross the street or why you should be careful about the friends you choose. That's what your brain is doing.
Your brain has a negativity bias. It's wired to scan for those threats. It's wired to tell stories that aren't always true,
Neuroscientists call this the brain's default mode and your default mode. Well, it leans towards doom over bliss. Failure over progress, worry over wonder because it's trying to keep you safe.
Now, here's the part that changed my world. You are not your thoughts, and this means that that inner voice, that inner critic that is always speaking sharply at you, well, that voice is not a parent. It is not a mean teacher. [00:06:00] It is not the bully that you feared at school. It is not your employer.
It's not the online trolls that post without filters. Here's the part that I lean towards daily in my life when I am dealing with these thoughts in my brain. You can notice when your brain is pouring gloom on your day and you, my friend, can put a stop to it. you see when you begin to notice these doom and gloom thoughts, and you don't immediately believe them.
You create space and in that space, that's when everything can change. So are you ready to lift the fog of gloom that might be clouding your life these days? Yeah, I bet you are. Let's talk about how to get there. Today we're gonna talk about seven small shifts that I use that will change the way you think [00:07:00] about what you're thinking.
So let's get started. Shift number one, stop trying to catch up. There's a quiet pressure that many of us carry each day, that feeling that we are behind, or that the things we need to do today. Are going to be really tough to get through, and we're already behind before we even get out of bed. We're behind on work.
We're behind on life. We're behind on how we are caring for our families. We're behind on our to-do lists and our responsibilities. We're behind where we thought we should be by now in our life. But what if that problem isn't, that you are behind, but that you're overloaded?
So here's that mindset shift. Are you ready to think about what you're thinking? Yes. The next time you feel that urgency that's telling [00:08:00] you, you are behind, when you feel that emotion rising, I want you to pause and ask yourself, what am I thinking about right now? You might notice your brain saying, you'll never get all this done.
and that thought creates panic. Of course, you're never going to get everything all done every day. That's really impossible. And that's okay if that is how your brain rules your day though. Over will you get everything all done and the chances of that happening are very slim, right?
If that's how your brain is ruling your day, you will always feel defeated. So gently redirect that and instead of saying, I'm behind today, think what is one thing I can do today and then do that [00:09:00] thing. Set a priority each day to get one thing accomplished. What is your priority? And don't make that plural.
Don't make that priorities. Make it one thing, and then do the one thing with your full attention on just that. And when that one thing is accomplished, I want you to celebrate that. Let your brain. Say Adda girl. Atta boy. You got your priority done today. That's an accomplishment. Allow your thinking to realize that you've completed your priority and feel the bliss.
Think about what you're thinking and let some goodness soak in instead of just that you are behind. You are never gonna get this done.Stop that thinking and just concentrate on your one thing and [00:10:00] then celebrate.
You see, science says that identifying and reframing or rethinking those automatic negative thoughts, like I'll never get it all done. Well, when you can rethink that. Into a positive statement. I'm gonna get this one thing done today. Well, that significantly reduces stress and anxiety during your day.
Well, this thinking about what you're thinking, well That activates the prefrontal cortex in your brain and it reduces the emotional shock of critical thinking, and that is the goal. Reduce your critical thinking shift. Number two, let something go unfinished.
You see, we carry a quiet belief that everything needs to be checked off the to-do list before we can rest at the end of our day. but when you are in a state of [00:11:00] overwhelm, that belief, it becomes a trap. the overwhelm loop makes it seem like nothing is ever completely done.
This is especially true for the perfectionist, and you might be a perfectionist and you don't even know it. So ask yourself this. Do you work on something and never finish because there's always one more thing you probably should do or that you are uncertain how to do, and so your work never gets finished.
You could be a perfectionist. So are you ready for that mindset shift to think about what you're thinking? Okay, choose something that you're going to work on today and before you allow yourself to edit it for the 11th time or before you say, oh, I don't know how to do that part of this, I am just gonna set it aside.
Before you research another [00:12:00] option, because that's another thing we do, we keep researching so that we know all the things about the thing, but we never make the decision. We never choose the thing. stop that.
Editing loop the research loop the I'm gonna learn one more thing. Loop. Stop that. And what do you need to do? I want you to think about that. Is it time to just hit send on that email? Is it time to just make a choice on what you've been researching? Or maybe it's time to put your tools down for the day and say, I have done enough.
Not because you're giving up, but because you are practicing trust in yourself, you're trusting that the work is okay enough and ready to send or that you can finish the whatever tomorrow. trust. That finishing something or allowing yourself [00:13:00] to rest is not abandonment of what could have been better or perfect.
listen to what you're thinking about. Your brain might be saying you haven't done enough yet.
So think about what you're thinking and notice these thoughts. Are these perfectionism thoughts paralyzing you? I want you to recognize that. I don't want you to argue with them. but simply ask. Is this thought serving me right now, or is it just a habit that's keeping me from actually getting something done or from allowing me to end my day on time?
Because you know that voice It's not yelling facts at you, it's just following a pattern, a pattern that you have been using. Looping through so often and it makes it hard to think differently.
Maybe [00:14:00] it's not perfect, but done is better than perfect. And here's the good news, my friend. These patterns that you have been looping yourself in that repeat over and over and over, they can be gently, lovingly changed. Science says that perfectionism and rigid completion standards that we often set for our selves are directly linked to higher rates of emotional exhaustion and burnout.
learning to tolerate incompleteness and understand that it is not being lazy, this is a skill that can be honed when you let yourself think about what you're thinking about. So when you realize that you are trying to be perfect, tell yourself, I don't have to be perfect.
I just need to get this done, and allowing yourself to do that, that's [00:15:00] a victory. I'll shift number three. Change what you are looking at now. What do I mean by this? overwhelm thrives in sameness. Looking at the same screen, looking at the same four walls, that creates the same mental looping, and that looping through the same worries on repeat is often what causes burnout and overwhelm.
Does that feel familiar? You're in the same office, you're in the same room, you're doing the same routine over and over and over, if that feels familiar. I don't want you to feel alone, In order to get past this, you need to gently shift where you are, change your environment.
and this is as easy as stepping outside, [00:16:00] moving to a different room, working one day at a coffee shop or on your patio You don't need to remodel your office or your studio.
You don't need to move your house or change your job, although those are always options if you need to be extreme. But sometimes you just need a change of scenery, even if it is small. So are you ready for the mindset shift that's going to help you think about what you're thinking?
Yeah. Okay. Here we go. First, you need to allow yourself to realize that your brain is changed to your desk or your studio, or your office, or your house, or wherever you are feeling stifled.
And I want you to notice your thoughts. Are they looping? Are they predicting disaster over and over? Are you repeating the same [00:17:00] worry? Ask yourself this. Is this thought helping me right now, or is it just filling space? This is you thinking about what you're thinking. I don't want you to judge your thoughts.
I just want you to notice. I want you to name them and then I want you to realize what they are doing to your happiness, and as you move to a new environment, maybe you're just gonna move into the next room. Sometimes I just work in a different chair. As you choose your new environment, think about what you're thinking and
Look for those small lifts of positivity and, um, new energy and changes to your downward spiraling loops. Think about what you're thinking as your inner critic begins to loosen its grip because science says. That [00:18:00] even brief exposure to natural or novel environments reduces directed attention, fatigue and restores cognitive function.
A study found that time in nature, improved performance on attention and working memory. Your brain, my friend, it's not broken. It might just be tired and feeling a bit stifled. New scenery is nourishment shift number four, use your hands to do something simple. Okay, this one is fun, and it is also a way to get yourself away from what is causing your brain to talk to you about doom and gloom.
So what does this mean? You're allowing your body to help, especially your hands. This is doing something simple and tactile. Something like [00:19:00] folding laundry or stirring something on the stove. It's kneading bread or tending to a plant. It's doodling. Absent mindedly on a piece of paper or an envelope or a napkin.
It's something low stakes, something rhythmic, something that doesn't need a ton of thought. So knowing this, are you ready for the mindset shift to think about what you're thinking? So I want you to find that tactile, rhythmic, easy to do task. What is it for you? And it can be different for everyone.
I want you to listen to your thoughts. While your hands are busy, just listen to your thoughts. You may have never done that before. You will begin to notice that your thoughts begin to slow down.
and slowly your brain is going to have that room to start figuring out a solution [00:20:00] that might have seemed impossible when you were sitting at your desk going, figure this out. I need to do this now.
So when you get stuck, get up and do something away from the place where your brain is shutting down And if a harsh thought appears while you're letting your hands do that tactile, um, rhythmic motion, you know that,
Critical voice that yells you should be doing something more productive right now. You should be working. Let yourself think about what you're thinking and tell that thought to hush because you are actually doing something productive.
You really are. So say to yourself, that's my inner critic, Or even just there's a thought I don't have to listen to right now. Just naming it helps to create the distance and push back on [00:21:00] that doom and gloom focus.
science says that repetitive hand driven activity that includes crafting and needing bread or knitting, all of that reduces cortisol levels and activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the rest and digest response in your brain.
And studies have also documented that hand work activates the brain's reward system and it releases dopamine This is your body's natural antidote to overwhelm and it costs nothing.
Now let's pause for just a moment so I can invite you to come and meet me in person. We've been talking about coming back to yourself about noticing your thoughts about finding the small practices that restore what overwhelm takes away.
Well, this [00:22:00] may, I am gathering a small, intimate group in Atchison, Kansas for the Sylva Synergy Creative Wellness Retreat, and I would love to meet you there. Sylva Synergy is built around the three foundations that we talk about on this podcast. Core care, which is nourishing your body and mind creative care, which is reconnecting with your inner creative and community care because healing my friend is never a solo journey.
this retreat is hosted by me and by Health Coach Lisa Murphy. And it's all about immersing yourself in self-care so that when you leave, you will be knowledgeable about. Keeping what you've learned and about how you can continue to flourish and build resilience and stay connected to your own vitality if your nervous system has been running on [00:23:00] empty, because our world, well, it kind of seems like it's on fire at times.
This retreat might be exactly the reset you are needing. The weekend is May 29th through 31 of 2026, and you can visit the link in the show notes to learn more about Sylva Synergy and reserve your space. You can also go to www.bdicreate.today to make your reservation and plan to come and join me in May.
Spots are limited, my friend, so don't wait. I would be honored to spend this magical weekend with you. Now let's get back to our mindset shifts so that you can build a better day
Shift number five, lower the bar dramatically. [00:24:00] Sometimes my friend overwhelm isn't about having too much to do, it's about carrying too much expectation about how well it all needs to be done. Now here is your permission. Slip to lower the bar. Not a little, a lot. You can fix a meal that is simple and nourishing and not a gourmet elaborate banquet, right?
You can do a workout that's just a walk around the block, not a 10 k, not a marathon. You can send an email that is just three sentences long that is not a novel, and You can do these things. Do them on a smaller scale, and it is okay.
You can always add to what you've accomplished tomorrow and let your progress compound as you begin to become consistent with what you need to do.
So done Smaller today, beats perfect. [00:25:00] Later or someday or never.
So are you ready for that mindset shift so you can think about what you're thinking right as you lower that bar? Listen to your brain. 'cause it is going to protest.
I want you to ask yourself, as you're realizing what your brain is yelling at you, whose voice is talking to me right now? Is it a parent?
Is it a teacher? Is it an employer? Is it a social media bully, or is it some old story that you inherited from somewhere that told you how something needed to be? in order to be successful. Now think about what you're thinking and then I want you to gently respond, not with argument or judgment, but with the kindness that you would give to a friend or a child or even a frightened animal [00:26:00] and say to yourself,
This lowering of the bar today, especially when I am feeling depleted, especially when I'm overwhelmed or I'm nervous about something new, especially today, this lowering of the bar, this is enough for today. Science says that small, achievable actions improve mood and reduce feelings of overwhelm by creating forward momentum, even if it's just a little bit, because the key is not the size of the action, it's the feeling of the small achievement.
Every small completion sends a signal to your nervous system. I am capable. I am moving. I am okay and I can improve. Small things, when you do them consistently, they compound, they add up. [00:27:00] So continue this momentum just a little bit every day and you will feel the bliss of progress.
Shift number six. Create a moment of quiet input. Oof. What does this mean? Well, my friend, we live in a constant stream of input in our world. We have social media, we have news, we have notifications. We have other people's opinions, other people's urgencies, other people's judgments. All this floods in at us like a tidal wave.
It is coming at us from every direction, and so much is pounded and poured down on us that even good input can become too much. So here's a practice you can use when you are drowning from too much.
[00:28:00] You just need five minutes with no input, and that means no phone, no music, no conversations, not even a fabulous podcast, like Create Today. Just just you and your thoughts, and here's the mindset shift so that you can think about what you're thinking. This is where metacognition. Begins in its purest form.
In those five minutes of quiet, I want you to simply observe what your mind is doing. Is it filling the silence with worry?
Does it immediately crave distraction, some sort of input, oh, I just need my music, right? Does it start making lists? These are things I need to do. Well, whatever it is, I just want you to recognize it.
You're thinking about [00:29:00] what you're thinking. You are noticing, and here's what is vitally important. I want you to remember that you are not your thoughts. You are the observer of your thoughts. and the simple act of watching your thoughts come in and fade away is genius for you.
This is a big thing. This is a big accomplishment. Noticing your thoughts without following every one of them down the rabbit hole is one of the most powerful things you can do for your overwhelmed brain. You see, science says that the human mind wanders nearly 47% of the time, and that mind wandering is a cause, not a consequence of unhappiness.
However, mindful awareness of that wandering brain, simply noticing, [00:30:00] Hmm, my brain just went somewhere. Being able to recognize what you're thinking. Without judgment has been shown to reduce anxiety and improve emotional regulation.
Shift number seven, do one small creative thing. This last shift is the closest one to my heart. 'cause you know I love creativity. When you are overwhelmed, your creative life, like your hobbies, um, your art, your music, theater, leisure time, that includes board games and crafts with your family.
These magical moments are usually. The first things you set aside. When you become overwhelmed, you think you're too busy to do your creative thing, these activities feel indulgent. They feel like they should be optional. If I have time, I will do these things.
They feel like places [00:31:00] where you can save time. To get more things done. They become the somethings you'll return to when your stress calms down. But here's what I know. Your creativity, my friend, is not a reward for getting everything done. Your creativity is part of how you get through everything. Your creativity is nourishment for your brain.
It is restoration for your mind. Your creativity is you returning to your authentic self. What's a creative practice or event or moment that you have set aside because of stressful tasks that you think are clouding your day so much that you don't have time to be creative?
What is your creative thing? You see, this is time when you're not producing anything. You [00:32:00] don't have to finish something. You don't have to be good at it. You just need to enjoy whatever it is you've chosen to do. It can be as tiny as doodling on a sticky note or writing a few lines in a journal.
It could be humming while you clean the kitchen or sing in the shower or drive your car. It could be knitting or painting or whittling wood or watercolors. Gardening. The list is long. It could also be playing Clue or a Scrabble or a card game with your friends or family.
Now, are you ready for the mindset shift that is going to help you think about what you're thinking? Yeah. Okay. Before you begin your chosen moment of creativity, notice any thoughts that might be trying to stop you?
Um, I don't really have time to do this today, or I'm gonna do one more thing, before I can do my creative thing or. [00:33:00] This is frivolous. I feel silly, or I'm not creative. I don't know why I am trying to do something creative. Or maybe I'll say yes to this tomorrow, my friend.
We often say, I'll say yes to this tomorrow to our families all the time. How many times have you told your children? We'll play catch out in the yard tomorrow, or, um, we'll do this craft later. Oh. So as you realize what you're thinking, I want you to name that thought. I want you to actually thank it for trying to protect you, for trying to keep you feeling productive, for trying to help you get more done in your day. But after that, after you thank it for its efforts, I want you to gently set it aside because here's the truth. No matter who you [00:34:00] are, my friends, you are creative, not because you make beautiful things or you're super skilled, but because you're a human being with the capacity to imagine and to notice and to make meaning from your imagination.
That is creativity and it belongs to everyone. And science says that everyday creative activity, even small acts. Lead to higher positive effect and flourishing, and a sense of meaning the following day. You wanna feel better tomorrow? Let yourself do something creative today.
Studies have concluded that creative engagement has positive effects on mental health, on stress regulation, and emotional resilience. What is not to love about doing something creative today? Your creativity, my friend, [00:35:00] is not a luxury. Science says creativity is essential.
so there you have it, my friend. Seven small shifts, seven ways to think about what you're thinking. Seven gentle invitations to calm the chaos that is creating your overwhelm and your burnout.
Seven easy ideas to rest that inner critic and rise up out of your burnout. Let me leave you with this today. Here is what I have learned in my life. Overwhelm is not a character flaw. It is not evidence that you are weak or behind or failing. And on the flip side of that coin, overwhelm is not a badge of honor to wear to show the world that you are one heck of a busy person.
Overwhelm is evidence that you are a feeling, [00:36:00] caring, attentive human being, living in a world that is asking a great deal of you right now. It is evidence that you need to know how to cope in this world that feels like it is on fire.
and my friend, the most powerful thing you can do to to help calm down the overwhelm and rise up out of your burnout. Is the single thread that is woven through every single shift we talked about today, and is simply this. Think about what you're thinking. Notice the thought, name it. Don't judge it, but don't let it spiral you down.
And don't let it loop and loop in a negative bias. think about the thoughts you're having. Think curiously is what I'm [00:37:00] thinking. Is this true? Is it helpful for me today, my friend? You are not your overwhelm, but you are creative.
You are a beautiful soul who is vital to your family, to your community, to your employer, and to the world. And you can learn to move through overwhelm and burnout, one small shift at a time. If today's episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to understand that they too can think about what they are thinking.
Sometimes the most generous thing we can do for the people we love is to pass along something that helped us breathe a little easier. If you would like to really understand how to put this kind of mindfulness into practice every day in your life, consider spending a weekend restoring your body, or reconnecting with your [00:38:00] creative spirit and finding your community.
Come and meet me at Sylva Synergy this May in Atchison, Kansas. the link to know more is in the show notes. Thank you so much for spending your time with me today.
I appreciate you more than you know, and I'll be back with you next week with more creative goodness. So until we meet again. Stay creative my friend.
