E103 - Diane Dreher
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Beth: [00:00:00] Hello, my creative friend. Welcome back to another episode of Create Today with Beth Buffington. You know, I love to bring in amazing guests to talk to you about creativity Today I have a guest that I cannot wait for you to meet. Her name is Diane Drayer and she is a PhD in the author of eight nonfiction books that include the bestselling Tao of Inner Peace and her new book, pathways to Inner Peace.
She's an award-winning university professor and a positive psychology researcher whose work on hope has been recognized internationally. Her books, workshops and webinars help us meet the challenges of our time.
and we can meet those challenges with greater courage, creativity, and hope, because Diane is here [00:01:00] today to speak with us. Diane, welcome. Welcome. I am so glad to have you with us here today. Tell us a little bit about who you are, where you are, and how creativity has really been part of your background.
Diane: Well, Beth, I am delighted to be here today and I identify, I guess myself as a lifelong learner. I follow my curiosity and it leads me to very interesting places. I began I guess my personal search in college when I began meditating. Meditation practice led me to Eastern Philosophy. I wrote three books on Taoism, but I was also just fascinated by Renaissance literature and the whole period of the Renaissance.
Because in the Middle Ages, all of theologians said that only priests, monks, and nuns had a calling, and everybody else [00:02:00] just worked in order to, you know, satisfy their deficiency needs. Well, what happened in the Renaissance within one generation was that theologians began saying everyone had a calling.
God had given everyone special gifts, and they were expected to discover them and use them to serve their community, to fulfill their destiny and to serve God. So since people were told they had special gifts to bring forward, guess what? They started using them. A poor boy from the English countryside whose parents were illiterate and signed their names with an ex found his calling on the London stage as William Shakespeare, another little boy in Italy who, whose father wanted him to be a cloth merchant so he could bring money into the family, kept drawing pictures and his father would beat him saying, Michelangelo, don't draw.
[00:03:00] It's a waste of your time. Fortunately for all of us, Michelangelo discovered his calling.
And
brought his creative gifts to the world. So in the Renaissance, they believed that everyone had special gifts Fast forward a few hundred years, the positive psychologist Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson did an international study and they discovered that there are 24 character strengths common to all humanity.
And that each one of us has top five of those strengths. we all have all 24, but the top five, and if we discover them and use them and bring them forward, we're healthier, happier, and more successful. So I became fascinated by the whole concept of finding our own personal renaissance, discovering our creative gifts and bringing them forward because the world really needs us to do that.
Beth: Oh my gosh. That is such a great way to introduce yourself. First of all, I mean, [00:04:00] just imagining. If Michelangelo had not been told, you have a calling and Shakespeare, what if, what if he wouldn't have been allowed to do his writings?
I mean, how many people these days are covering up some amazing callings that they have? We are losing some incredible talent, and that is what this podcast is all about, is helping people discover that we are all creative and there is a calling inside of us that we're really responsible for letting people know what our creative message is.
So tell us more. What do we need to know next? Diane?
Diane: What do we need to know next? We all need to know that human beings, you know, unlike other life forms on this planet, we can't run as fast as an antelope. We can't fly under our own power. We can't swim, across vast oceans. What we can [00:05:00] do is we can create, and we have these. Cave paintings that are, thousands of years old, where human beings would paint pictures of animals on the wall, recording what they saw, celebrating perhaps with gratitude for what they found.
And that's our greatest strength as human beings. I study renaissance literature at UCLA, got a PhD in Renaissance literature and began teaching. And as a professor, I figured it was my duty to help my students discover the light within them, their own creative gifts, and
it was something that they could bring forward and there's a great sense of joy and power in doing that personally. But it also, as we know from Michelangelo and Shakespeare and Queen Elizabeth, the first who spoke six languages.
Grew up in a rather dysfunctional family. Her father was Henry vii who executed her mother and Berlin and had six wives and very [00:06:00] dysfunctional family. But she found her calling in books and studying history and learning languages. And when she became Queen of England, she could speak to the ambassadors in their own languages.
And she was a patron of Shakespeare. She celebrated the arts at her court and brought about, this, the golden age of the English Renaissance. So women and men discovered something within them and sometimes through hardship. Elizabeth was imprisoned by her sister Mary Tudor because, well, not only sibling rivalry, but a lot of politics were involved.
But she found. in the darkness she saw the light, and for her the light was in books, which were her friends, which then gave her a lot of wisdom so that she became a, an incredibly powerful queen.
Beth: Hmm. Oh, there's so much to take away from that.
tell us, I, I, there just all so much, I, I'm almost [00:07:00] speechless. You have told us so much already and the fact that you studied Renaissance and from that you took away this nugget of the calling and shared that with your students. That is a really gifted idea for an educator to share. Instead of let's memorize all the dates of when all the paintings were made.
I mean, I had to do that in college. But those aren't the things that stick with you. The things that stick with you are what can I learn from what they learned
Each generation has their moment in the sun, and we need to get them up to speed as quickly as possible so they can be really sage and make wise choices about how to do good things with the world. So knowing that that's what you were sharing with your students, that's golden. Diane, I love that.
Well, thank you.
My father [00:08:00] was an Air Force pilot, so we moved all the time. I went to 10 different schools before I graduated from high school.
And had,
had to leave all my friends behind. So what I did find was that I could go to the local library and I could find books that I had read before, and that these books, these became my virtual friends, my virtual mentors.
I read novels like little women, And I read Eleanor Roosevelt's autobiography when I was in high school, and she became such a mentor to me, such a role model that I, I have a picture of her above my desk actually to this day, because she overcame great adversity. Again, found a sense of compassion because she had suffered her mother.
Called her names, told her she was ugly and worthless. Her father was an alcoholic. Both parents died when she was a child. She was orphaned lived with an aunt and was really living in a wealthy family, but was really an exile in [00:09:00] her own family and felt like she didn't, wasn't worth anything.
And she went to high school in England where the teacher, Madam Mazel Vera, saw something in Eleanor and told her she had something special to offer. And Eleanor recognized that fact worked in settlement houses, helped people out of poverty, and so impressed her distant cousin, Franklin Roosevelt, that he married her.
So, and then she became, this incredible first lady. So I read about these people and thought, oh. out of darkness, there can be light. And indeed, ELA Stevenson said of Eleanor at her memorial service, she would rather light a candle than curse the darkness. And her light has warmed the world.
We
each have that light within us. I had a professor in college who helped me find my own light, and I felt that, well, it was my duty and my destiny to remind people [00:10:00] that we all have something very valuable, very unique.
Let me ask you this question. In our world today young people are inundated with TikTok and Instagram and all sorts of social media where influencers are the name of the game and the person of the hour and looking similar or doing things that are trending.
those are so loud in our world. How does a person pull themself away from all of that? To celebrate the fact that their fingerprints are different. And that's the best part about them finding that authenticity in them and thinking it's okay not to blend in. How do we celebrate the uniqueness that is us in today's world?
Diane: Wow. What a beautiful question. There's a big difference between information and inspiration.
our world gives us a whole lot of information [00:11:00] some of which is, actually not true. Right. And there are influences, people on, online who don't know what they're talking about.
And yet they give advice to people. and a lot of young people are searching to find out who they are. It's, what Eric Erickson's called the Crisis of Identity. when we leave childhood and start walking toward adulthood, we need to discover who we can be as an adult. And all this stuff that comes at them from all these different directions saying, you need to look like this and, you need to fit in.
That really keeps us from discovering our own uniqueness. Among other things, I'm a positive psychology coach, and I have clients who were, many of them just having graduated from college looking for a career. And a recent client was, trying to do what everybody else was doing. And I was trying to persuade him.
Fortunately, he just got a job offer, [00:12:00] so yay, because he followed his own inclination, his own intuition. He wasn't doing what everybody else was doing. He said, look. There are thousands of people out there doing the same thing. How do you distinguish yourself as really relevant? as someone who fits in, in a different way who can bring in new possibilities to this job, this career.
And he he latched onto it. So he's, perhaps a young, modern day Michelangelo has just gotten But we, we need to turn that stuff off.
Yeah.
And there's research, Jonathan Hyde among them who, who say that this is very bad for young people's brains. Our brains develop their adult connections between age 18 and 25.
So that. If we are developing our adult connections with all this garbage coming at us, telling we're us, we're not okay. Advertisers [00:13:00] make us feel inadequate until we buy their product, which is going to solve all our problems, right? it's a pretty simple manipulative ploy. And a lot of influencers on social media are telling us, here's what you should be, this is how you should look.
this is how you can find happiness. Like Michelangelo's father, perhaps that advice doesn't fit that individual. We need to take a step back and have open time, go take a walk in nature, which is where I tell my clients. when you're feeling restless and bored, what do you do?
Well, I reach for my phone and I go on. we all think. Get bored and restless, but what can we do to take a 15 minute walk outside has been shown to relieve depression?
Mm
There is research on that and it doesn't cost anything and it doesn't involve any, incredibly equipment or a [00:14:00] product or anything.
And no one is telling us what to do out there. We just walk around, look at the trees, look at the sky, connect with a source that is greater than our egos, and we can find inspiration. Albert Einstein, when he got stuck doing his research in his lab, even Einstein had these moments. He would go sailing and out there in the water, under the sky, he would feel at one with nature and he'd get an inspiration and then he'd go back to his lab and, and solve his problem.
connecting with nature or connecting with a creative process. My colleague engineering professor, shoe Park Chen at Santa Clara University would be working on an engineering problem. Something that I totally do not understand because my PhD is in English.
He gets stuck and he'd go and he'd go and do Chinese brush paintings, which were absolutely beautiful. After doing his painting, he would go back to his lab and guess what?[00:15:00]
He'd have, he'd find the solution to his problem.
creative practice is a way that we can replenish ourselves. Just like being in nature is a way that we can replenish ourselves, and these are a lot healthier practices than spending a whole lot of time doom scrolling. Yes. So much.
Beth: Oh, everything you've just mentioned reminds me of a podcast episode I have done about creativity and movement creativity and nourishment creativity and silence, and so much of that is pulling yourself away from the magnet that is our screens and finding peace just within our own mind.
Diane, tell us about some rituals you have. Like what does your mornings look like? How are you dealing with, not immediately pulling your phone up to see who's on Instagram or checking your email, or what are you doing that is [00:16:00] keeping you grounded?
Diane: Well, when I wake up in the morning, I do not listen to the news right away.
I do not go online right away. I do not check my email. What I do is make myself a cup of coffee and meditate and that, that's my practice. And then after I meditate, I do my writing. So the going within, having that silence, connecting with the source because I find my creativity is very closely aligned with my spirituality.
I have to empty my mind and my ego mind and all the busy stuff and, my to-do list all that goes away and just connect, have a a 30 minute time period where I just meditate. And then I can create and for a couple of hours I write and get all kinds of new inspired ideas.
And then I'll let myself have breakfast. I get my spiritual nourishment first. But if I [00:17:00] don't begin my day that way.
Mm-hmm.
Nothing works.
Beth: So let's give us some imagery. So you get your coffee. Do you have a special area, a special room that you go to, to meditate?
Or do you meditate in a lot of different places? How does that work for you?
Diane: Oh, I have a special corner in my study where I, I put my coffee and I have, just, a beautiful quilt that my friend Tina made for me. That's, just a little quilt that I can kind of curl up in with my meditation quilt, especially as the weather gets cooler.
And that's, that it's my corner. So when I go there I feel, I automatically kind of get into that mood. It's if I meditate, I try to meditate out in the living room or in the kitchen, that wouldn't work for me because there are too many other associations involved in those rooms.
Beth: Okay, so are you on the floor? Are you sitting on a chair? Are you on a couch? Where are you?
Diane: I'm on a couch, Okay. Kind of a, a daybed. with a [00:18:00] lot of pillows that I do needle point, so I have all these beautiful needle point pillows around and, it's, it's kind of my creativity corner, my meditation corner.
Beth: I love that. I love that you have a quilt that someone made you so that you have, the things you have around you aren't, they are heart forward items that make you feel cared for and secure and unique. Right. Okay. Right. Yeah. So are, now, are you, are you drinking your coffee while you're meditating or are you sitting very still?
I mean, people wanna know.
Diane: Okay. I drink some coffee before I begin meditating and I read, I have a set of kind of spiritual guidelines that I look at, my spiritual practice guidelines. So I get some coffee while I'm doing that. Okay. But then while I'm meditating, I don't stop and drink coffee.
I have my eyes closed. I'd spill my coffee if I tried to do it that way. Right.
Beth: That's what I thought. But I thought, well, you know, we're always looking for the person that says, I drink coffee and [00:19:00] meditate at the same time. Let's do it.
Diane: How did work? Yeah. it's a question of sequencing, you know?
Beth: Exactly.
Diane: Okay.
Beth: Now let me also ask you, if a listener is thinking, oh, I would love to ground my morning with some meditation. how long should someone. Who is starting, how long should they meditate? And is it best to do something that's guided through an app that they download, which makes them have to go to their phone?
Or can we just do it on our own? What are your guidelines or your suggestions?
Diane: Oh my gosh. Um, I have a chapter on meditation actually in my new book. And there, there are lots of different kinds of meditation. I haven't stopped to count them, but there are many, there's, I do a form of meditation called passage meditation, where I've memorized spiritual passages like the prayer of St.
Francis, of Assisi, Lord, make me an instrument of thy [00:20:00] peace, and all the rest of that. And so I can focus on a passage which keeps my mind from wandering to my to-do list and all kinds of other things,
right?
Some people do mindfulness meditation, where they simply focus on their breathing.
Some people say a mantra, a spiritual word or phrase when they're meditating. And some people do movement meditation. there's some forms of yoga that involve meditation where you actually move your bodies. I used to teach yoga at the East West Center for the Healing Arts, and we did that at the end of our haha yoga practice.
So there are lots of different ways. It's, again, since we're all unique, we need to find something that works for us.
Yes.
Some people cannot simply sit for 30 minutes. It drives them crazy. Yeah. Ah, so I didn't start out for half hour meditation, 10 minutes, set a timer, and then work your way up.
It seems to be the best way to do it, it's like running a marathon. You don't just [00:21:00] get up and run 26 miles one day. You have to work your way up to it.
Beth: Exactly. Exactly. Such sage advice.Okay. So. Let's talk a little bit about your confidence. I mean, listening to you talk, you've written books.
you are, a wonderful, professor. you've got so many degrees behind you, your confidence just radiates. How did you achieve that confidence and did your creativity help you get to where you felt confident?
Let's start with that question.
Diane: Hey I have a couple of different parts. If you believe in internal family systems, we have different parts within us. One of the parts is this kind of person who was a first generation college student. Who moved around, who didn't have any, when people said, where are you from?
She didn't quite know what to say, where do you mean now? so a lot of uncertainty, right. And insecurity there, which could kind of get [00:22:00] in the way of moving forward with confidence.
Yeah.
The other part is that I have this intense curiosity and fascination with all kinds of things.
and then there's this, the spiritual connection. So I feel like what has helped me greatly is my faith in something much more than my own ego self.
Yeah.
Because she couldn't do it by herself, creativity for me is reaching out and discovering and creating, making something happen that didn't exist before, which is why we have airplanes and, and the Statue of Liberty, which I find greatly inspiring, And in order to get to that creative confidence, we have to get through this insecurity, this fear, this inner critic that tells you, Hey, you've never done this before.
Who do you think you are? You know that, right? And sometimes we [00:23:00] can get through that. Be when we're, when our minds are open, when we're out in nature, when we're away from all our usual reinforcements. And sometimes just by listening to that inner voice one time. When I just graduated from high school at Kaiser Lauer, Germany and my father was transferred to Norton Air Force Base outside of Riverside.
I'd applied to UCLA, which was my dream school. I always felt like I wanted to go to UCLA. I didn't know why, but I just felt like I needed to be there. So I'd gotten accepted to UCLA and I was excited. And in my parents' suburban house, I was packing some of my clothes, and my mother came into the room and she said, what are you doing?
And I said, I'm packing up. It's August, September. I'm gonna be going to UCLA. I figured I needed to know what I wanna take. And she said, oh, well, your father and I had transferred your acceptance to uc, Riverside, [00:24:00] so you don't have to go away to college. And I, it wasn't have to, I wanted to, I said, why,
She said, well, we can't afford it. And she left the room.
Oh.
I thought, oh dear, my parents are having financial problems. So I rode to school with my friend Brad Parker, who, whose parents were similar Air Force, and he'd just come from New York who lived across the street. And we both were plotting ways that we could get away from our parents' houses and live like college students.
So for the first year I commuted, and then that summer I thought, okay, my parents are not gonna pay for this. And it wasn't that they didn't have the money because that December, after I was told that they couldn't afford to send me to the dorms at UCLA my mother got a new mink coat and a Mercedes for Christmas.
So there was some controlling behavior going on. Yeah. So, okay. I, I got temporary jobs, at as Kelly's services and was driving my old, this old red Volkswagen Passed [00:25:00] the newspaper office on 14th Street, the Riverside Press Enterprise. And I wanted to be a writer and I knew that I wanted to be a writer,
and I heard this voice inside me say, if you wanna be a writer, you should work there. So I, okay, so I turned the car into the parking lot, walked into the newsroom as a shy teenager and said, hi, I'm dire. I'm a writer. I'd like to apply for a job. And I did it before I had time to think about it.
So sometimes just following an impulse. Yep. As long as it's, a safe impulse. It's not like you jump off the bridge or something. And they said, oh. Our college intern just gave notice this morning, can you start work on Monday?
Woo. I said, yes. I had 20 hour a week job. I could work around my class schedule. It was enough to pay for my tuition room and board books, everything. Moved out of my parents' [00:26:00] house. you know, sometimes the world disappoints us at one point, but gives us what we really need.
So I was working, I got to write news stories, I got to work with all these reporters who showed me what it means to be a dedicated writer. And it raised my sense of confidence greatly. You know, my friends in the English class, what are you doing? Oh, I, I work at the Riverside Press Enterprise.
Woo. Right? Yes. So then, you know, with that confidence, I, I then really did very well in my studies because I figured that this was where I was going. I then got a graduate fellowship to UCLA for my PhD. So I ended up at UCLA, but the detour I took working for the newspaper somehow following this intuitive inspired impulse really set me up and gave me a great deal more than had my parents paid my way to UCLA as an undergrad.[00:27:00]
That, that would not have been nearly as exciting because when I went to college,it was my college education. I had chosen it, I paid for it. I was working for it. I was on the staff at the local newspaper. This was cool.
Beth: there's so much about that you had skin of the game mm-hmm.
you understood the value of your education more because you were the one paying the bills. Yeah. Many of us went to college with someone whose mom and dad paid the bills, and they did not take school seriously.
they walked away with maybe a degree, but not with a calling. Yeah. Yeah. And because you had that detour
It made you a stronger person because of the obstacle that you had to go around. So that is something Yeah. I've talked about with my students is that obstacles need to be looked at as invitations. Like, okay, what can I do with this?
Diane: Yeah, yeah.
Right. A [00:28:00] challenge can be an opportunity. if we just surrender to it and say, oh dear, there's nothing I can do, that's feeling helpless and hopeless. This doesn't work.
Beth: Yeah. But to
Diane: be able to step back and say, okay, so what's the opportunity here? as a college professor, I saw a lot of very unhappy college students whose parents were insisting that they major in accounting, and what they really wanted to do was major in music.
Yeah. Or art or literature or history or something, and the parents say, oh, I'm paying for this. You will do what I say. And I thought, I never had to worry about that. Yep.
Beth: Well, yeah, it's, you know, you need to know that you wanna get up every morning and just feel really excited about what you get to do for the day.
And yeah. Your parents said you're gonna be an accountant because you'll make money, and that will be a solid job. That is, and numbers weren't your passion then. There you go. You're back into pre Renaissance days where all you were going to do is make sure you didn't go hungry and you had a roof over your head.[00:29:00]
Wow. Yep. Words thinking, right?
Diane: Yep. And, and, and the person who discovers a calling has so much more to offer to the world. Yes. Because our world keeps evolving through the creativity of the people who bring forward their gifts. Yes. Oh,
Beth: yes. And yeah. That, and that is what creativity is, is what is your gift and how you take that gift and make it your own.
That is where you are creative.
Diane: the reason that I wrote my most recent book is that there is so much stress and distress going on these days. And what stress does as we know it puts us into an emergency reaction of fight, flight, or freeze. Yes.
And that's good. If we need to jump out of the way of a speeding car, we don't wanna sit and meditate on it, But when stress becomes chronic it. Shuts down our immune system, our digestive [00:30:00] system, and our higher brain centers that enable us to think creatively.
And what we're left with is fight, flight, or freeze. So when people are stressed, anyone that disagrees with 'em, they start fighting with,
Anybody
who's, who's different is the enemy,
yes. Or
flight. they hide, oh dear, I i, or they freeze in place and feel helpless. And these three behaviors don't serve usto help us find solutions at all.
So, we need to get that stress out of the way. And one way, of course, is to have a creative practice, go out into nature meditate. You know, find ways to stop being online because that just reinforces our stress level and to really get to possibilities for solutions. I found a funny one when I was in grad school.
in September, I was at UCLA at the orientation for the PhD program.
And I looked around and saw that all the other people who were [00:31:00] there already had their master's degrees and, three months before I was still an undergrad. And I thought, oh dear.
I started feeling stressed and fearful and anxious. And then we had a midterm we were taking together. So I thought, okay what can I do? I thought, I will invite all my smart classmates to my apartment for a pizza and study session, and I will pick their brains and then I will pass the midterm.
I figured they knew more than I did. when we came together, I realized that all of us were nervous, even the people with master's degrees and that together when we discussed what we were going to be tested on, we knew more than we did individually because collectively, we shared our resources.
and so we all got through the midterm And not only that, but we became friends throughout grad school and, and supported each other emotionally. And that sense of being part of a team, really [00:32:00] helped.
Beth: I, that is something we talk about in the podcast a lot, is finding a community where you can be supported. Have some people who are cheering you on, and places where everyone can share ideas and just become a better person from what is being spoken about in the room.
And if you can be the least smartest person in that room, it's even better for you because you will be learning so much. From, um, the goodness of the people in that collective room.
Diane: we're all better collectively. It's why human beings work better. When we are in towns and cities, and little communities.
Beth: And
Diane: we lost a lot of our sense of community and connection during COVID. Yes, we did. And in 2023, the former US surgeon General Vivek Murphy, said that we had an epidemic of loneliness and isolation that was hazardous to our emotional and physical health. And a surgeon in [00:33:00] general, he felt obliged to warn us about that.
Yeah.
So, from what I know now from my research and positive psychology, we need community in order to survive as human beings. We feel lonely. We feel scared and anxious when we're by ourselves, because when we evolved years ago as hunter gatherer commun.
We needed the community in order to survive. so we are called collectively to cultivate community.
And that's again, another chapter in, in my book pathways to Inner Peace. We find inner peace by by cultivating community, by finding a team that we feel comfortable in. And we're more comfortable, we're healthier, but we're also more effective because as you've just said, we have the collective wisdom.
Right,
Beth: right. Oh, so tell us a little bit more about your book. I know it is brand New Pathways to Inner Peace,
Diane: it's beautiful. I [00:34:00] told the editor I wanted to have, a picture of this place I like to go walking in nature right by the lake where I live.
And they created this beautiful cover with a path surrounded by trees. So, we have nine pathways that I've discovered that can help us find greater peace of mind and get us from feeling disconnected and distressed to feeling connected again, which we desperately need.
And these pathways have been practiced through centuries of spiritual tradition. They've been written about by poets and philosophers, and they've been validated by recent research in psychology and neuroscience. So all of these pathways, they're not only in Wordsworth and Emerson and Thoreau and St.
Francis of Ascc, you have this sense of connection with nature. But now, you know, we have real measured research. So yes, this really works. Walking in nature [00:35:00] does actually relieve depression. Amazing. So, there are nine of them. And there first of all is mindful presence. It's very hard to be present these days.
Yes. Because we live in a world of distractions and somehow the corporations have learned that our awareness is something very valuable. They want to hijack it and use it to sell their products in very many ways. So we're constantly being bombarded by advertisements, by social media, by noise, by breaking news, by all this stuff.
So how do we train our brains to get back to being in the present moment when we've been so used to being bombarded? And there are practices that we can use. Jim Doty, who was a neurosurgeon at Stanford that I talked to, would take three deep, mindful breaths [00:36:00] in the middle of complex brain surgery to get really centered so he could do his best work and save somebody's life in many cases.
And I figure, okay, we breathe anyway. Right? We don't need special equipment. We don't need to buy anything. just pause and take three deep mindful breaths. If it works in complex brain surgery, it should help bring us back to the present moment in our own challenges.
Beth: Oh, I love that. So many solutions to things we feel we need to adjust can be done by doing something that's free.
You don't need any special equipment. You don't have to buy new shoes. you don't need to buy extra screens or tech. it is something that is just part of your being.
Diane: Yeah. most of these pathways don't cost a lot of money.
Nature we've talked about is the second one. Community is the [00:37:00] third pathway. And to have a sense of belonging, as we've discussed, we really need. And there's a psychologist, Barbara Frederickson at the University of North Carolina, who, who says, not only do we need connections with people that are our loved ones and close friends and all that, but micro moments of connectivity, little connections with waving at a neighbor or saying a good, exchanging a kind word, or a greeting to the clerk at the grocery store.
Or you know that, okay, mic a micro moment doesn't take much. Boom, there it is. what it does is it. Relieves inflammation activates the immune system, makes people feel happier and healthier for both the giver and the receiver. Yeah. And if we do that enough it can spread throughout whole neighborhoods and create a sense of community because then everybody just, Hey, hi there.
You know? So I, I read that. I [00:38:00] thought, this is cool. Yeah. So I'd be walking my dog around the neighborhood and I'd see a neighbor driving by and I'd wave and I'd say, this is good for both of us.
Beth: My husband and I, we bike a lot. We have a tandem bike and we, oh, we take it everywhere.
And there were a lot of people I would see and I would think, oh, that's a cute dog. I like that lady's coat. or what a cute baby. All the things I would think in my head, but didn't say out loud. So on one of our rides. I thought when I see something and I admire it, I'm going to say it out loud.
And so through my whole ride, I would say, oh, your dog is adorable. Oh, I really like the dress you have. And people there would face would light up. and you were right.
it made me feel better. it's a, a ride that I remember as being my inaugural ride to compliments,
Diane: Yeah, it's fun. what a subversive experiment we can make micro moments of connectivity and we can spread the light of community around us. And it, it makes a big difference and it repairs [00:39:00] a lot of the losses that we've experienced, through COVID and through our divisive politics.
Beth: Yes, yes. Our world is so binary right now. But when we can be out in public and we can just say to someone, I like your shirt. we can agree on that, and then we can bring ourselves together on something that small micro moments.
I love that.
Diane: Yeah. So, so we can build community. And then another of them these pathways is meditation. And again, there are many forms of meditation, but one of them is to simply say a mantra, which is a sacred word or phrase. This woman, Jill Borman, who is a nurse practitioner down at the San Diego Veterans Hospital, decided that people working in healthcare are very stressed.
So she, she said this mantra, she had her own mantra and practice, but she said, choose a spiritual word or phrase, it's meaningful to you, and say it when you're washing dishes or waiting in line or whatever. So you get used to it and then you can say it to yourself. You don't need to say it out loud [00:40:00] anytime you feel stressed.
So, you always have it with you. She said it's non-toxic. It has no adverse side effects, And the healthcare workers felt significantly less stressed after they did this. Oh my gosh. So she thought, this is really good. Yeah. So then some of the veterans had PTSD, so she shared the mantra practice with them and it significantly reduced their PTSD symptoms.
Beth: Again, it's free, free,
Diane: simple. You know, these pathways don't cost anything. You don't require any special equipment. So there, there are a lot of them. And, each pathway has many practices. These are some of them. Another one is kindness. Just practicing kindness and compassion, which can partly be, micro moments of connectivity, connecting with somebody with a kind word.
Yes, that's it. Yeah. Having a sense of purpose. A sense of meaning. Research shows that we're happier, healthier, and we live longer when we have something [00:41:00] to look forward to when we wake up in the morning. To live creatively is to live with a sense of purpose.
Beth: Yes. And for people who say, well, I don't really have a sense of purpose right now.
I mean, you can, you can go to a volunteer area and just. Volunteer to help pack lunches or, read to children at school. I mean, there's a lot of places you can go to find out where you can volunteer. and the feeling that you get for volunteering somewhere is immeasurable.
Diane: Yeah. it's been documented as helpers high. Helpers high. Yes. It's research shown on that. And, another pathway is intuition. That we all have this inner wisdom, this inner guidance, which, helped me survive, helped me find my job at the newspaper, helped me, not flunk out of UCLA.
we get these intuitive hits. At one point when I was in grad school, we were all working for the University of California press. [00:42:00] Ronald Reagan, who was governor at the time, this was years ago, cut all the budgets and so we were all laid off from our jobs
and
that wasn't really a good thing but the week before I had been walking around Santa Monica and I saw this restaurant that was opening up called Colonel Bow Regards Gumbo Shop.
And my cousins and godparents live in New Orleans, and I love that food. So I, I thought, oh, this is cool. So I, again, my curiosity led me to knock on the door and the owner said, oh. I said, when are you opening? I love New Orleans food, my family, I've got family in New Orleans. And I said, here's my phone number.
Call me when you're ready to open. it was pretty bold. after we were laid off, my friend Jeanette and I were sitting in my apartment wondering how we were gonna pay our rent and, the phone rang and it was the owner of Colonel Bogar saying could you be our cashier and start work next week?
No. Oh my gosh. So I [00:43:00] got a free lunch and a free dinner and paid for, my rent and expenses. And also all the waiters were actors. So when they were setting up or closing down at the end of the day, they'd be dancing around and, I got free entertainment. So in the morning I would write my dissertation and the work my dissertation and then I'd go for my lunch and entertainment and whatever for the rest of the day.
And it was just really fun to work there. So following our curiosity. Is a way to, and, maybe that was my intuition. I don't know. But we can be led to do things if we just reach out of our comfort zone and explore. Sometimes we find something really good. Doesn't always end up with a job, but apparently in my case it did
Beth: Well, there's a lot to be said for people talk about manifesting and while mm-hmm. I, I am a firm believer that that is a real thing, but not when you make a vision board and you [00:44:00] cut from magazines and you put that on the wall. I mean, you need to take your manifest ideas and talk about what it is you wanna do.
And the more you talk about it and the more you talk to people that push you out of your comfort zone, the better chance you have of seeing the fruits of your vision actually come true. Yeah,
Diane: absolutely. And it works for lots of different things. I had years ago my old Dotson sedan was, giving me problems and breaking down and occasionally I'd have to take the bus to get to school, to teach.
so I thought, I need a new car. So I was driving my boyfriend's car at the time and came out of the English department at Santa Clara and there was this little yellow beautiful little sedan parked right in front of the and I thought, oh, what a cute car. And the guy was getting into it.
And I said, that's a really nice car you have. I'd [00:45:00] like one of those someday. And he said, you want this car? We're selling it. And it costs just as much money as I had in my savings account. Now, how does that happen? Okay.
Beth: Because you said something, you have to disturb the vibrations in the universe and
Diane: and
Beth: be brave,
Diane: reach out, follow your intuition, your inclination. So, it, it really works. we need to make connections it opens up doors of opportunity.
when we feel like we've gotta do it all ourselves and be the rugged individualist, that doesn't work very well.
Beth: Yes. Right? No, yeah. You don't have to shoulder all responsibilities all on your own, but you do have to be brave enough to step outside of your comfort zone to talk to people you don't know and to go places that you're just curious about.
Just walk into a restaurant that's not open yet, or telling some man that you don't know that you like his car. I mean, [00:46:00] those are things that were, were stepping outside of what you knew
In a sense. Okay. Doing something out of routine is living creatively. Yes.
And, we all love routines, I mean, I am a routine lover.
I mean, it's just cozy, like wrapping yourself in your favorite blanket. But if you do that every single day, that's all you're going to do every single day is your routine. So, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. We is important.
Diane: human beings. We need a certain amount of stability, and our world is not giving us that much these days.
we need stability, but we also need variety. Because if everything is too stable, it's the same water stagnates if it doesn't flow.
Yeah.
So we need to have movement as well as stability and some kind of balance of yin and yang, as they say in Eastern philosophy. We need both.
Yeah.
And what's great about the [00:47:00] arts, is that the arts really show us new possibilities.
they show us somebody's vision. like for example, Michelangelo's David, which he carved out of a piece of marble that had been spoiled, that was lying on its side that no one could do anything with. But Michelangelo looked at that piece of marble and saw possibilities.
Beth: Oh, that gave me a shiver. That just, that's amazing.
Diane: That's creative vision and that's what we need, and sometimes it takes multiple attempts.Thomas Edison went through, hundreds and hundreds of different filaments in order to find the one that would work in the, in Ken Doesn't light.
And they said, well, you've had all these failures. And he said, no, I've discovered what doesn't work. and now I'm that much closure to what does
Beth: Indeed. Indeed. Yeah. it, not everything works perfectly and not every restaurant's gonna call you with a job, but No. But, if you don't [00:48:00] try, if you don't experiment, you'll never find the filament that does work.
Diane: Yeah. Yeah. And it, it means that we have to reach out beyond our comfort zone in order to find that filament that works.
Yeah. And the
last pathway is, is simply the pathway of joy. That lots of positive psychology research has shown that despite the stereotype of the suffering artist.
That people actually have greater creativity when they have joy because it opens up those parts of their brains that, can see new possibilities.
Beth: And, a friend of mine, Catherine Getsky, who has done all this research on hope motivated by the fact that when she was in her first year in college, her father died by suicide because he didn't have the skills he needed.
Diane: she realized to overcome stress. So she said the first, hope practice for her is stress skills. We need to know when we're stressed and what we can do about it.
Beth: Yes.
Diane: And the second [00:49:00] practice is happiness habits. We need to cultivate practices that bring joy into our lives on a regular basis.
It doesn't just happen. But if we have something that we enjoy doing, like riding the bicycle with, that tandem, when I see those, they're so rare. I, I, it always makes me smile,
Beth: oh, we get a lot of cool bike. Yeah.
Diane: Okay. But, but you know, again, laughter is, is amazingly healing too. I interviewed Norman Cousins years ago down at the UCLA medical center. He was not a doctor. He had been a journalist for the Saturday review.
And he was diagnosed with an incurable illness that was ankylosing spondylitis, which was going to freeze all of his joints in place. And the doctor said, there's no cure. And cousin said, well, if there's no cure, we might as well try. anything. So in the hospital, this was before YouTube he had videos of Mark's [00:50:00] brothers movies and Candid camera and all these old comedy shows brought in, with a projector.
And he found that 10 minutes of laughter relieved his pain and he could then go to sleep. And it also reduced his blood sediment rates, which meant he, it was a reduction in inflammation so it could be measured. So he was feeling better, but they kicked him outta the hospital because he was making too much noise.
So he ended up having to move into the hotel across the street, which he said had much betterfood and ambiance anyway, he left his way to health. When I met him at UCLA, who was Jauntily, walking down the hall, gave me a big handshake. big smile. I mean, he was totally healthy and he was on staff.
As an adjunct medical professor working with the doctors and med students to about the importance of a positive attitude in healing.
Beth: Yes, the smallest things can bring about happiness one of the things I always talk about, all the dishes, those beautiful dishes that we save for special [00:51:00] occasions, you should get them out on a Tuesday night when you have takeout.
get 'em out and use them because they will bring you joy
It's those little tiny things that you treat yourself to. You think you can only do when it's a special occasion when you're entertaining, if you do that for yourself, you'll find that it just brightens up the day. It's little things.
Diane: Absolutely. happiness habits we can bring to every day of our lives. small things. Again, they're not expensive. We don't have to go, to Bermuda, No, we can Have something, do something special. surround ourselves. Beauty, for example, brings a lot of joy to a lot of people.
Mm-hmm. And
just to, you know, to look outside the window and, and if you have trees out there, and to say, oh,
Beth: that's
Diane: so beautiful.
Beth: And pause and acknowledge that, acknowledge realize if you look at the things you have that you can appreciate, that you do value, that you do find.[00:52:00]
Comforting. It can kind of switch those obstacles. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, something that you can tackle a little better.
Diane: I do a gratitude practice at the end of every day and just think, okay, what are, what are three things that I'm grateful for? And there are always at least three. Yeah,Yeah.
Beth: Yeah. Oh, Diane, I feel like we've just scratched the surface of the goodness that is in your book, pathways to Inner Peace. There will be a link to, Diane's book. can people find you in local bookstores and wherever you would shop for books.
Is that right?
Diane: my book is in Amazon, Barnes and noble.com and selected bookstores that can be ordered by any bookstore.
Beth: Great. So if you go into your local bookstore and they don't have the book,
and you need it fast, go to Amazon and get it now because it is going to be something that will truly [00:53:00] help you see creativity and beauty in your life.
Diane, you're just a beautiful person. Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day and sharing it with the Create Today listeners, I appreciate you,
Diane: and I appreciate all you're doing to help people discover their own creative gifts. That's really, really important and you're shining the light out there for all of us.
Beth: Oh, thank you so much for your kind words. So Creative Friends, we've talked about so many delicious things today. from the things that Diana has talked about today. Find one of those pathways that you can incorporate into your life. Is there a morning ritual you could begin?
Is there a mantra you can start thinking about? How can you find joy in your life and start implementing those things to find a little more happiness and. Cultivate your creativity just that much more. And my friend, as you know, no matter [00:54:00] what path you choose to take today, my wish for you is to stay creative.
Thanks, Diane. Thank you.
